99 Red Balloons and I Didn't Fall On My Face
(This blog is best read while listening to the Sleeping At Last cover of 99 Red Balloons)
This week, man.
I tread water most of the time. It's a steady (but very constant) effort to move forward in all areas of my life. It's pretty impossible to move forward in every area all at once, but I'm forever working out ways that I can try. Months have passed with my current treading efforts leading me little more than a few inches forward- but then this past week happened.
I had my first choreographed dance performance on Saturday for a little showcase thrown together by my circus studio. It wasn't the performance I know I'm capable of giving, but I think I'm proud of what I did. I say "think" because I'll never be 100% thrilled with any performance- this is an area of self-conscousness for me. Dance has never been my strong point and at one point I had people telling me I would never be physically capable of doing something like this in my life. This was a big step towards showing them that they're wrong, but then that little niggly part of my brain pops up front and says "maybe they're right," "look at how bad that one bit was," "that's not how it looks when GOOD dancers do it." I'm working on pushing those thoughts aside and just doing what I love...but boy does that take a lot of work.
But I did it- the performance was a last minute decision and a push to put together - but I did it. I costumed, rehearsed, and put heart into it. I could have done better- but I did it. That's a big moment for right now. I did it.
In other oddities this week, I was contacted by a director I had worked with last year asking me to do a last minute taped audition for them. I worked with them last July and hadn't talked to them since- and then about 3 weeks ago I emailed them about directing a project I wrote. I guess that opened a door in their memories of what I can do. Cut to today and I'm waiting for a final word about whether I booked this new audition. Ka-pow!
As if I didn't already have plenty on my plate, a friend sent me a link last Wednesday to a writing fellowship for HBO looking for submissions. The submissions open on March 4 and they are only accepting the first 1000 applications. Never mind that I don't have a project in the wings that can be adapted for an HBO pilot- I feel like this is a challenge I'd be a real moron to pass up. Yikes. 6 days to write a ROCKING pilot? I'll sleep when I'm dead. So my sister and I have written a pilot for an HBO drama(dy) that we're finishing editing to submit on the 4th. ....And I think it might be some of the strongest work we've ever done. There's no motivator quite like a deadline, huh?
Oh- and I had my first TV audition in Austin in 2 years. Probably didn't book it, but at least I was considered.....right? ....Right guys? At the very least, I felt nice and warmed up for an audition. And Toni met with me right before to ease my mind slap me back down to earth. Because I think she's my guardian angel sitting on my shoulder right now.
Big week. Guardian Angles, HBO, auditions, and circus.
Now let the treading recommence.