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“To be nobody but 

yourself in a world 

which is doing its best day and night to make you like 

everybody else means to fight the hardest battle 

which an...

Fight the Fight

January 16, 2015

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Oh The Thinks You Can Think

February 24, 2015

Brace yourself, because I'm about to share a really generic fact.

 

Music inspires me. 

 

WHAT?? That's crazy talk, Brandi! 

 

Ok, so maybe my comment isn't that revolutionary, but sometimes I forget how much music can make my insides wiggle. Lately I've gotten so wrapped up with facts and practicality that I completely forgot to imagine and play and dream. Being an adult sucks balls sometimes. 

 

When I let them, my dreams run away with me VERY easily- It's something that could end up being either my best friend or my worst enemy in my life. I don't dream small. My thoughts go from little and tiny to instantly fantastical, out-there, and weird. 

 

"This person on the phone is the most boring person in the world." **cue rolling on the floor in pain and torturous thrashing**

 

"Oh no! A plane crashed in the middle of the ocean and they can't find it....It's probably in a parallel universe."

 

"I want to make a movie. PUT JEFF GOLDBLUM IN IT."  

(the last one may be a dream- BUT IT WILL HAPPEN IF IT'S THE LAST THING I DO)

 

                                                          ********************************

 

....But back to my dreams. I refuse to believe that they are over-reaching. It will be a dark day when I start to think that my thoughts are too big for what COULD and MIGHT happen. Magic exists in this world and I never believed that more strongly than when I worked in children's theatre. Every day of my existence was dedicated to enlightening the world about that magic and the possibilities of the imagination. It was filled with glitter and harmonies and possibility.

 

Try telling a 5-year old that he has to do taxes one day.

 

Tears. 

 

Now try doing it in song form while wearing bunny ears and a tutu.

 

Magic.  

 

Music makes me remember imagaination, magic, and wonder. Everything is possible. I'm an astronaut, I'm a dancer, I'm in love, I'm feeling every feeling all at the exact same moment.

 

                                                        ************************************

 

With all of the blogging lately I've been thinking of Seussical, The Musical. Oh The Thinks You Can Think. Oh the thinks can think. I am capable of thinking them, but I don't think that the rest of the world can see that. I don't show it to them. 

 

Last week we did commercial work and I had SO MUCH DOUBT IN MY ABILITIES that I foiled myself before I ever even stepped in front of the camera. That's too big. That's too small. That's not interesting enough. That's not a character I would ever play. 

 

Why not TRY to play the character, Brandi? You might surprise yourself. I never would have cast myself as the Mayor in Whoville in Seussical, The Musical, but that has been one of my favorite roles to play on stage and one of the times I surprised myself the most. WHY IS IT SO HARD FOR ME TO STEP OUTSIDE OF MY COMFORT ZONE?? The only person judging me is myself. And trust me....at the end of the day, am definitely my worst critic.  

 

When your thinks have run dry,
In the blink of an eye 
There's another think there!
If you open your mind, 
Oh, the thinks you will find
Lining up to get loose! 

 

                                                           *****************************

 

This thought has been weighing on me for a couple of reasons this week. 1) I know that something means a lot to me when I literally dream about it. All week- nightmares about these commercials, forgetting all of my lines, letting myself down, and more importantly- letting Toni and Sally down. I can put up with my own disappointment in me, but other people's disappointment is hard to swallow. 

 

                                                         ********************************

 

On Saturday I have my first dance performance. I'll be doing a lyra performance to a Swan Lake suite. The nerve-induced-vomit will produce later in the week...right now my to-do list is too long.

 

Now, my prayer to the Gods of performance:

 

I call upon you, oh Gods of glitter, magic, and inspiration. Please make this weekend's performance perfectly imperfect. Let my inner artist shine. Let the music sweep me away and produce something special in my soul. 

 

Please let me not fall on my face. Literally. 

 

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