This week has been a real struggle with power. Feel out of control and wanting it back.
This weekend, I went with my perfect and beautiful pug, Betty Boop to catch up on some boring desk work for my sometimes-interesting-always-wonderful day job at the office. Most of the time I can do this kind of stuff from home, but every now and then I have to go to the OFFICE office to get it done. This was an office office kind of weekend.
Now, don't get me wrong...pug snores are VERY entertaining, but after a while other entertainment also sounds pretty great.
I went to turn on my Amazon Prime to keep going with my binge of The Good Wife- a show I've held off on watching for a long time for no reason, but that I've plowed through so quickly that I'm about to write an appeal to Ridley Scott to keep this show going until his dying day. (Seriously, if you aren't watching this show you're missing out on something very special. Some of the best writing on TV.)
To my utter DISMAY the stupid IT guys have blocked all attempts to watch video on the office computers.
WHAT?? IT guys have too much power- if you tell me that none of them ever check their facebook or try to watch an episode of 30-Rock during work hours I would definitely not believe you. I think they have it out for all humans to make sure that the rest of us don't "misbehave." After years of frustration with these guys in multiple different jobs I came to my final conclusion- IT guys and I are destined to be Arch-Nemeses.
It's on, IT guys. No one tells me what I can and cannot do.
I mean, the police tell me that laws are there for a reason- but THEY'RE THE ONLY ONES! And, alright, my mom has rules in her house- but she's my mom and totally allowed. IT guys, though? No way, buddies. Get out of my world.
One time I had an IT guy who had so much control over the computers that our clocks were always off by at least 7 hours and many minutes. We never knew the right time because we didn't have "privileges" to change the clock. That was clearly too much power for us.
I take the power BACK, IT guys!
Aside from the petty battle with the land of technology I've also noticed a real lack of control over my own instincts in my creative life. I know I'm better than the work I'm turning out right now, but I always get in my own way. There's nothing more frustrating than feeling the power within, but blowing it when the time comes to prove it to everyone else.
I prepped for an audition on Friday with a lengthy, very boring script. I prepped and I prepped. Then I showed up and stumbled, mumbled, and tripped over everything I was doing. I was so INSIDE my head that I defeated myself at a game I was more than prepared to crush.
Another day, another battle? Tick tock, Brandi. It's time to harness it and stop letting yourself down at auditions. Pull it together, Hollsten.