Sundance, Anxiety, and Ice Cream

Another year. Another Sundance Festival. Another January of trying not to implode from the overwhelming anxiety of feeling behind the curve. There's a constant nagging voice that pops into my head- Why isn't MY stuff in a festival yet? Am I slacking? Am I not good enough? GO AWAY, little gremlin! I shun you.

I love film festivals. I love that they celebrate the up-and-comers in the industry and the outlet that they provide for new voices. The idea of getting to go to a festival to see a movie that I wrote and acted in, surrounded by a sea of people who love the craft gives me major butterflies and makes me want to throw up a little. That's a good thing.... right? ....Right guys? ..... ....guys?

Inevitably, when my podcasts and news articles turn their attentions to discussing the newest and brightest in the industry, I turn to my couch and a pint of ice cream. It's not because I'm feeling sorry for myself. In fact, it's because my energy is so heightened and electric that I don't know how to harness it and I practically shut down. Harddrive overload, I guess.

So it's me, a pint of half-baked, my couch, and my laptop. I'll have a movie or TV series on in the background (generally something really incredible- recently something like Transparent. HOW GOOD IS THE WRITING ON THAT SHOW?!) keeping me motivated while I tick tick tick away on my laptop writing scripts, updating my website, researching roles, and submitting as much of my stuff as I can into the universe. Because this year is my year. This year something huge is going to happen. It'll be my breakthrough year!

Ok, so maybe nothing HUGE has happened any of these past ice-cream binging years, but I have grown a lot and accomplished a lot personally.

2015. This IS my year. Maybe I won't be at Tribecca in 2015, but I will be soon, friends. CJ Legare and I are writing an AMMMMAAAAZING webseries that I couldn't be more excited about. Sarah Adams and I are working on filming a great little ditty just for the internets. (Prepare to pee yourself with laughter). And Shannon and I are working on multiple projects. We're finishing writing a musical that's been sitting in the back of our brains for about 8 years and we've started research on a TV series based on the lives and famed feud of Bette Davis and Joan Crawford.

But probably the thing I'm most excited about and most proud of is our script Finding Better. The heart and soul that went into those characters have developed something that I CANNOT WAIT TO WORK ON. Did I tell you how excited I am? I want to produce it tomorrow. Like, tomorrow. How about yesterday? It's a special script about a really special family. My part in the script is not the lead, but boy is she someone I can't wait to play.

This year I play.

#sundance #findingbetter #benjerrys

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